Belonging NO MATTER WHAT!

Ideas to create a family team feeling:

• Think of a team/gang.. what do they do to mimic "family" - they build each other up... are we doing that ? are we doing that? They are there for each other no matter what.  They have each others back!  They are great familyers, but can never compare to the family unit designed by our Heavenly Father!  
• Give Responsibility... do chores TOGETHER - some of my greatest childhood memories come from the after dinner dishes.  It was a full team effort & there were often bubbles, and laughter involved.  Once even a kitchen sink sprayer that sprayed all the way across the kitchen... by my (very serious) dad!!  
• Give Acknowledgement - One of the basic human needs is Acknowledgement!  We need to show our kids that they are good at doing things!  I have a friend in her late 50's and to this day when we have gone to serve by cleaning houses, she will pipe up,  "I will clean the bathrooms!  I know I can do that well because my mom told me I am the best bathroom cleaner!"
• Sit at the table for a while after dinner.  Growing up our best conversations & honestly by testimony started at the dinner table.  We sat at the table every night, and then my tired mom would stay there, usually someone (even my 16 yr old, very cool brother) would sit on her lap and we would talk for a little while.  This was our dessert, and it was a sample of heaven.  
• Get to know each other... like friends do. Sister Feinhauer taught the three F's 1. Food 2. Fire 3.Fanny.  Each of these bring the kids. especially teenagers together.  1. Food - build it and they will come! 2. Fire - what is it that draws us to fire, but try one in the back yard... it drives away flies and drives in family members (especially if roasting things is involved). 3. Fanny - If my sits her fanny down, the kids will gather, IF there are not any "screens" turned on.
• Make Top 10 Lists - We have a white board that changes each month with different Top 10s to be filled out by each family member.  It is a fun way to get to know a little about each other.
• Create a family motto/logo/mission statement - It will help you define how to family each other.
• Call yourself a team - a friend from out of town called, can she come over?  AAAHHH, 10 minutes until company! " Team Stout, all hands on deck company in 10 minutes!"  My kids know that means all hands on deck right now, and get an area in the house ready for company.  If they are spending the night, sheets on a bed, towels ready for them.  Make sure the kitchen is clean... you know the drill.  OR - It is 6:45am and I hear the garbage man on other street and I realize I forgot to take the cans out to the street.  "Team Stout!!  Garbages!" Then in life when there are real challenges there is a Team Stout!  It is fun to to have Team awards, or a surprise trip to ice cream... 
• Have family (private) jokes, stories, words... that you repeat to belong. 
• Play Mom always said..., Dad always said.... Simply ask your kids, "What does Dad always say?" Or "What does Mom always say?" It is eye opening!  And bonding!
• Play "Remember When..."
• Traditions - Make them, then keep them!  Even when they seem stupid, do it anyway!
• Write heart felt letters and then go and read them out loud to the family member, then leave it for them.
• One-on-one time/dates/talks - pray pray pray, have an open heart/mind, treat as friend.
• Mom Daughter Journal - get a cute note book and start it with a note to your daughter saying you would like to have a chance to get to know her better, so you will be writing notes (like the ones you used to pass in school)  to her, and then she can write you back, ect.  I know one mom that says anything she needs to vent about in their journal, she will not get in trouble for saying.  It is the safe place.